I highly recommend “Safe Home” on Hulu. I watched it because I loved Aisha Dee in “The Bold Type”. The theme is spot on: “There are two types of people in this world. Those who think family violence would never happen to them … and those who know it could happen to anyone.” I never experienced physical abuse, but I have been the victim of therapy abuse. I was silent about it for years, then finally filed a complaint with VA Dept of Health Professions in September 2020. I started posting about my experience on my blog in 2021 (206870), but didn’t make a public Google review warning others until 2022. In December 2023 he surrendered his right to renew license to avoid a formal hearing in which I was subpoenaed and prepared to testify. Yesterday a post was made about my former therapist on Reddit and it included a link to the consent order. I checked it again this morning and 6 people have shared their own experiences or information about inappropriate and unprofessional behavior from friends or colleagues. 😮 I am so grateful that I had the strength and evidence to stop him from harming others. He might have told current clients he was retiring, but he failed to tell them it was a choice to avoid disciplinary action. In February 2024 the Board unanimously agreed to put certain terms and limitations on his license. He appealed to avoid the indefinite probation of no less than 6 months which would have required him to:
I had two goals when I filed the complaint: 1) protect others 2) create a public record. Even though the consequences do seem “light”, having an official document with a finding of facts was validating for me and at least one other victim. It’s unfortunate that because of COVID-19, staffing issues, and the extent of evidence provided that this case dragged on so long. I often wished he would have just retired when he was notified of the complaint, but he told others that he had no plans of retiring because he enjoyed what he did too much. There’s a tendency to think that abuse (physical, emotional, financial, etc.) can’t happen to us. I’m here to say that abuse has many forms and anyone can be a victim. Too often it’s fear, shame, and guilt that keep us from speaking the truth, but if more people have the courage to expose a bully, an abuser, or a predator, we can protect and strengthen our communities. For years I honestly believed it was “just me” who had this harmful experience in therapy and I tried to minimize the damage it caused me. Now I just wish I could apologize to anyone who I could have saved by speaking up sooner (specifically in 2008 and 2017). I am available to anyone who wants to discuss my case in particular and/or what can’ be done to prevent therapy abuse from occurring and to support victims. Thanks to VDHP for listening to me and for taking my complaint seriously. Responses on Reddit from Anonymous Users: As someone who works in the same profession, [he] was not well regarded. A number of patients experienced unethical treatment and later sought therapy from his treatment. It is my belief he has caused significant harm. There were a number of complaints filed and unfortunately the process took longer than it should have. As of today he is no longer able to practice in the state of Virginia. Just know, you really are not the only one. I've heard about this guy from a friend of mine and he sounds really nasty. [He] was extremely unprofessional. A therapist of mine urged me to file a complaint, but I was too anxious and just wanted to put it behind me. I deeply regret that decision. I was referred to him a couple years ago and left messages with his office to schedule, but never heard back. Shortly afterwards someone in this subreddit said they had experience of him using misogynistic language with them, which put me off trying again. Glad now I didn’t keep trying. Oh my God! I thought it was me! He was so misogynistic I thought I was going crazy. I left when he became sarcastic during multiple sessions. I'm so sorry. That happened to me too. Yeah. My friend saw him and he was describing a therapy session where this guy was really sarcastic. It was weird. Super weird. My responses:
Thanks for sharing your experience as someone in the field. I am Client A and I can confirm that I was not the only one who was harmed. I met another former client whose story is eerily similar to mine. In December I had numerous conversations with the attorney for the Commonwealth to prep me for my testimony in the formal hearing. The reason this case was never dismissed and why it dragged on for over 3 years was because I had substantial evidence. The attorney told me she was “floored” and “astonished” by what she heard in the recordings I shared with her. She also told me there was a 0% chance I was the only one. I felt that same shock and disgust when I learned that it did happen to someone else and heard the details. It’s troubling that so many professionals in Charlottesville knew what was going on, but wouldn’t or couldn’t do anything to protect future victims. I talked to a few after filing my complaint who told me what happened didn’t surprise them and they’d heard things over the years. I even sought help from another therapist in June 2008. He was the one who told me I had been gaslighted and that what happened to me “wasn’t right” and he’d help get me out of it, but for whatever reason he didn’t follow through with the support I needed to leave. He also never suggested I file a complaint with the psychology board. I investigated that option on my own, but didn’t have the strength to come forward. I was terrified of exposing the truth and being blamed for causing it. I am finally sharing my story because therapy abuse is real and it can happen to anyone. Shame and guilt silences so many. Empathic and intelligent people can stay in damaging relationships for many reasons. We rationalize. We analyze. There’s nothing wrong with being a caring person who wants to be cared about. There’s nothing wrong with being a person who is eager to fix things or who works hard to make things right. Even if anonymous users might say negative things about me, I am proud of myself for having the courage to file a complaint with the Department of Health Professions and to submit a Google review with my real name. There were many moments over the past three years when I regretted my decisions and feared there would be no good outcome. I’m so relieved to know my actions have made a difference and helped others. Because I did both of these things, I was able to meet another strong and brave woman who in a very short amount of time has made a huge impact on my life. There is so much power in listening. …… Once he retired the only action the Board could take was concerning his right to renew his license: either revoke or accept his voluntary surrender. After the notice for a formal hearing was issued, there were a few weeks of negotiations between his lawyers and the Commonwealth’s lawyer to reach a settlement to avoid the scheduled hearing. I was hoping for it to be canceled because although it might have been empowering to testify, it could have also been very traumatizing. After 3+ years since talking to the investigator, I just wanted my case to be finally closed. I had two goals when I filed the complaint: 1) protect others 2) create a public record. Even though the consequences do seem “light”, having an official document with a finding of facts was validating for me and at least one other victim. If he didn’t appeal the initial order he would have had to go into therapy himself, attend an in-person CE on suicidal ideation, and enter into individual supervision of his practice indefinitely (a minimum of 6 months). It’s unfortunate that because of COVID-19, staffing issues, and the extent of evidence provided that this case dragged on so long. I often wished he would have just retired when he was notified of the complaint, but he told others that he had no plans of retiring because he enjoyed what he does too much. I recently watched “Safe House” and this stuck with me: “There are two types of people in this world. Those who think family violence would never happen to them … and those who know it could happen to anyone.” There’s a tendency to think that abuse (physical, emotional, financial, sexual, neglect) can’t happen to us. I’m here to say that abuse has many forms and anyone can be a victim. Too often it’s fear, shame, and guilt that keep us from speaking the truth, but if more people have the courage to expose a bully, an abuser, or a predator, we can protect and strengthen our communities. For years I honestly believed it was “just me” who had this harmful experience in therapy and I tried to minimize the damage it caused me. Now I just wish I could apologize to anyone who I could have saved by speaking up sooner (specifically in 2008 and 2017). …… 5 Signs of Narcissistic Therapists (The Ultimate Covert Wolves In Sheep’s Clothing)
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