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PG-50+

2/27/2022

 
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I have created a playlist of music from my favorite 80s movies: PG-50+.
I’ve danced. I’ve cried. It’s pretty emotional. Be cautious. :) 

PEOPLE STRONGLY CAUTIONED
Some material may be inappropriate for those 50+ taking a trip down memory lane. 

Work in Progress

2/27/2022

 
Here are upcoming pieces I intend to write. I’m sharing now so I can hold myself accountable for all my ambitious ideas.. :) ​

  • Graduation: my daughter is graduating from high school this spring and it’s bringing up all the feels for me. I’ve been resonating with her journey to define herself and plan her future. My son’s graduation 2 years ago was in the middle of the pandemic and it didn’t quite feel real. He went to a charter school so his HS experience was much different than mine. Annalivia, on the other hand, is the daughter I always dreamed of having ever since I was her age. So in preparing an ad for her high school yearbook, I pulled out mine and starting reminiscing. Then I started putting together a playlist and that was it … “This Woman’s Work” came up on shuffle and my composure was lost. I will be writing more about this!
  • Charlottesville Ten Miler: I am stepping away from my volunteer work with the Charlottesville Track Club after the 2022 race. I am eager for opportunity to talk about my legacy as I’ve devoted 14 years of my life to running, community, and supporting local nonprofits by giving my time and creating iconic designs associated with the race since 2009
  • Persistence, Resistance, and the State of the Union: I’ve really enjoyed season 2 of Sundance’s  “State of the Union” …. there some gems in this short series about identity, marriage, work, and the need for change that really affected me.
  • Dental Records: My twin wants me to help her write a story with this title. Can’t wait to hear what she wants to explore. I’ve already had my own thoughts about what it could be about.

My Radical Sabbatical

2/19/2022

 
Things to do:
  • HUMOR: Develop a book, series, etc. on life in your 50s (dating pool, search for a job, menopause)
  • MUSIC: Write song lyrics and poems, an anthem for midlife ladies, moms, and runners including theme songs for Rivanna Greenbelt Marathon (and hopefully Ten Miler)
  • ART: Create spaces for sharing drawings, doodles, designs (especially for older women and multigenerational families to connect to past)
  • EXERCISE: Organize virtual challenges to encourage community through movement 
  • EDUCATE: Share best practices and lessons learned  
  • PLAN: Use cake.com to prepare for the death of myself and Fran …. getting our shit together in terms of end of life decisions will also help us prepare for living our best lives in our 50s and beyond 

If I had 3 wishes:
  • Product/Direct/Write a documentary/series/reality show/musical hybrid
  • Fantasy dinner party consisting of one or more of the following attendees: Peter Gabriel, Ani DiFranco, Carole King, Tina Fey, Jessie Armstrong, Alan Ball, David Simon, cast and crew of Girls5Eva, Dollface, We Are Lady Parts, Succession, The Leftovers, and Six Feet Under (there really should be some kind of series where super fans of different shows should do a deep dive into a favorite episode with commentary and conversation with creators and actors)*. See Leah's Inspirational Watch List
  • Visit the Redwoods (this one could actually happen in July, see below!)
Gryls Trip 
Planning my dream trip to San Francisco with Annalivia (her graduation gift). I won entry to the Double Up Challenge (5K + Ultra). Any recommendations on things to do and how to do them without renting a car is much appreciated! We will be there for a week! :) 
  • San Francisco Zoo
    ”FEED A GIRAFFE”​
    (temporarily closed, wth!) 
  • Randall Museum
  • Alcatraz
  • Muir Woods
  • Golden Gate Park
  • GLBT Historical Society Museum
  • Cartoon Art Museum
  • Book Binders Museum

Recommendations from friends
  • French Toast
  • Trolley ride
  • Palace of Fine Arts
  • Ghirardelli’s Square
  • DeYoung Museum
  • Ocean Beach
  • Exploratorium
  • Walt Disney Family Museum
  • Academy of Sciences
  • Angel Island
  • The Ferry Building (food)
  • North Beach (food)
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Wellness Check

2/18/2022

 
I started this poem "Wellness Check" as a somewhat tongue in cheek reaction to a story I read about someone who was held captive and her family knew something was wrong because she wasn't sharing her Wordle score. I started to think about all the other things I could do or not do that would indicate I was in trouble. It took me all day to write and rewrite this and I'm still not 💯 satisfied but I'm so proud of myself. I haven't spent this long on creative writing since I earned my MFA from GMU in 2004. I loved reconnecting to that part of myself enjoys hunting for the right words to solve the puzzle 🧩 in my mind.

#BeThe1To take a few minutes and reach out to someone you care about.
​#wellness#creativewriting #wordle #mentalheathmatters #suicideprevention
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A related poem that I wrote when I was in college in 1993.
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Another poem about identity from 2000.
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Watch List

2/18/2022

 
Updated (10/15/22)

Watching a variety of tv series, documentaries, and movies is something that helps refocus me when I’m caught in rumination and worry. Here’s my recommendation list for inspiration. Some items I highly recommend**** and others have had an impact on me in other ways. Will delve into how exposing my mind to such amazing shows has helped me in future posts. 

Television
  • Bad Sisters ****
  • Girls5Eva ****
  • Hacks ****
  • ​The Other Two ****
  • Dollface ****
  • Shrill ****
  • The Baby ****
  • The Rehearsal ****
  • Abbott Elementary ****
  • We Are Lady Parts ****
  • State of the Union 2nd season **** 
  • Somebody Somewhere ****
  • The White Lotus ****
  • The Sex Lives of College Girls **** 
  • Nine Perfect Strangers ****
  • Succession **** (my fave show right now, watched it 100+ times)
  • The Morning Show ****
  • Six Feet Under ****
  • In Treatment  ****
  • The Leftovers ****
  • Gravity Falls **** (also watched this dozens & dozens of times)
  • We Own These Streets ***
  • Six Feet Under ****
  • The Wire ***
  • The Sopranos ****
  • Mrs. America ****
  • Enlightened ****
  • Servant
  • Single Drunk Female​
  • And Just Like That…
  • 30 Rock
  • Inventing Anna
  • Little Fires Everywhere
  • Only Murders in the Building
  • The Bold Type 
  • Suspicion
  • Suspicion
  • Winning Time
  • The Gilded Age  
  • Mare of Easttown 
  • Big Little Lies

Films
  • Good Luck to You, Leo Grande ***
  • Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen ****
  • a-ha: The Movie ****
  • Don’t Look Up ****
  • CODA ****
  • Sing Street ****
  • ​Sidney ****
  • The Tinder Swindler
  • Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street
  • WeWork: Or the Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn
  • MIGHTY IRA documentary

Recommended by Friends and I Still to Watch…
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
  • Severence 

Shows I Tried, but Just Can’t Enjoy or Get Really into for Some Reason
  • Ted Lasso
  • Industry
  • Euphoria
  • Barry 
  • House of the Dragon
  • The Flight Attendant
  • Irma Vep

Guilty Pleasures / Background TV
  • Law & Order (ever season ever, but only the original show, no spin-offs)
  • Monarch 
  • Southern Charm
  • Real Housewives of New York City
  • Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
  • House Hunters
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When I started my seasonal position at the Virginia Film Festival I decided to put together a presentation of THE FILMS THAT INSPIRE ME. It was a fun project! I love documentaries, movies that make me laugh, and films that make me cry. 

The last 4 movies I’ve watched as of October 15, 2022 are:
  • Sidney 
  • ‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas
  • Bad Moms
  • Devotion

And if I die….

2/17/2022

 
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In the ongoing saga of me trying to figure it all out, the meaning of life, my career path, my dreams and wishes, hopes and fears, or simply what’s for dinner tonight or on the agenda for tomorrow, I know that I’ve been avoiding one particularly difficult area of planning: DEATH. 

So as I went for my daily coffee walk this morning, the thought occurred to me that perhaps I should prioritize getting my shit together regarding end-of-life planning because as Chanel Reynold’s website prominently states:
“Hoping for the best is not a plan.”

Turning 50 last year really made me face my own mortality and the thought has crossed my mind every single day since, What if this is it? What if I don’t get tomorrow, what do I want to be doing today? If I knew I had 6 months to live or won the lottery, how would my life immediately change? I’m working on answers to those questions and hope to create a  an infographic to map out options for living my best life today.

It’s embarrassing to say that although I’ve had life insurance for both me and my husband ever since we had children, neither of us has a will and we don’t often talk about what we want to happen when we die. I always joke, “ANY MEANS NECESSARY” when it comes to making choices about my health care decisions if I can’t make them myself. If you’re not sure there’s life after death, I figure you might as well keep things going for as long as possible.

On the other hand, Fran, in no uncertain terms, has instructed me to pull the plug quickly in almost every hypothetical situation. And this is why I always pay the premium for his life insurance policy on time.

It’s probably not my most shining moment as a mom, but I told my daughter that I don’t want her dad to marry anyone else if I die first. Not that he would, he’s not really the marrying kind. Not quite sure how I got him to do it the first time to be honest. Anyway, in my fear of being replaced by a second wife, I warned her not to ever let him get away with saying, “She would have wanted me to be happy” if that was justification for falling in love with someone else because I unequivocally would not want that! 

I don’t actually remember the last time Fran and I talked about what to do if one of us dies before the other. (Perhaps I should say “when’” because the odds of us dying together when we don’t even live in the same state the majority of the year seems rather unlikely.)  

Years ago I vaguely remember him saying something about finding a way to scatter his ashes in London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral and donating his extensive library to … oh crap, where did he want that to go?!


Clearly it’s time to stop avoiding the death talk and start to have the conversations about end-of-life decisions. To make it easier I just signed up for a free account on In the ongoing saga of me trying to figure it all out, the meaning of life, my career path, my dreams and wishes, hopes and fears, or simply what’s for dinner tonight or on the agenda for tomorrow, I know I’ve been avoiding one particularly difficult area of planning: DEATH.  So as I went for my daily coffee walk this morning, the thought occurred to me that perhaps I should prioritize getting my shit together regarding end-of-life planning because as Chanel Reynold’s website prominently states: “Hoping for the best is not a plan.”

Turning 50 last year really made me face my own mortality and the thought has crossed my mind every single day since, What if this is it? What if I don’t get tomorrow, what do I want to be doing today? If I knew I had 6 months to live or won the lottery, how would my life change? 

It’s embarrassing to say that although I’ve had life insurance for both me and my husband ever since we had children, neither of us has a will and we don’t often talk about what we want to happen when we die. I always joke, “ANY MEANS NECESSARY” when it comes to making choices about health care decisions if I can’t make them myself. If you’re not sure there’s life after death, I figure you might as well keep things going for as long as possible.

On the other hand, Fran, in no uncertain terms, has instructed me to pull the plug quickly in almost every hypothetical situation. 

It’s probably not my most shining moment as a mom, but I told my daughter that I don’t want her dad to marry anyone else if I die first. Not that he would, he’s not really the marrying kind. Not quite sure how I got him to do it the first time to be honest. Anyway, in my fear of being replaced by a second wife, I warned her not to ever let him get away with saying, “She would have wanted me to be happy” if that was justification for falling in love with someone else because I unequivocally would not want that. I vaguely remember him saying something about finding a way to scatter his ashes in London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral and donating his extensive library to … oh crap, where did he want that to go? 


I just signed up for a free account on cake, the the leading company for end-of-life planning and navigating mortality. I’m also ready to play, “My Gift of Grace: A conversation game for living and dying well” with my twin this weekend.
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Resources on Mortality
  • Get Your Shit Together
    ​"​Hoping for the best is not a plan."​
  • Cake
    “End-of-life planning is actually all about honoring life. We chose “Cake” in the spirit of celebrating life milestones, and to highlight that planning is a gift to yourself and to your loved ones.”
  • ​​Compassion & Choices
  • Death with Dignity
  • “A Death of One’s Own,” Episode 3 of Bill Moyers: On Our Own Terms, 2000 (PBS; 45 minutes)
  • How to Die in Oregon, 2011 (108 min.) – stream at Amazon Prime or iTunes or Kanopy
  • Alternate Endings: Six New Ways to Die in America (5th segment), 2019 (HBO; 68 min.) – stream at HBO
  • Here Awhile, 2019 (85 min.)
Workshopping Life and Death
If I were to die today?
What would my regrets be (if any)?
What have I left unsaid that I’d like to say? 

I’ve been much better lately about being honest with people about how I feel, explaining why I do what I do, how what they’ve done or said has affected me both positively and negatively. It hasn’t always been easy and it rarely has given me all the closure I ideally wanted, but it’s something.

I’ve lost so much this year. I’ve grieved. I’ve mourned. I’ve struggled. I’ve endured the loss of friendships (without explanation), the unexpected (and poorly handled) terminations at places I’ve work, and a sense of identity. 
Yesterday it occurred to me that I really need to be brutally honest with myself (and my family and friends) about what I need to do in order to thrive … to do more than just survive. And for awhile it feels like I’ve been stuck in survival mode, stuck in old patterns, making poor choices. I need to break out of that rut.
I’ve said “I love you” more often to everyone who I speak with or text. I want no regrets. I want everyone who matters to me to know how much I care about them and how much they’ve helped me get through some tough times. 
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    @leahcville

    1/2 of  @TwinsRun
    Wife of @SportingKyd
    Mom of 2 with James Joyce inspired names
    Director of @RivannaMarathon
    Writer at @agoodgroup
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    #GeeksWhoDrink player

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