Whenever I get WORLDE in one guess, I feel like it’s a sign. I’m one of those people who switches their starting word every day based on my current mood or thoughts at the time I decide to play the game.
Yesterday I was thinking about the end of the year and what stood out the most as I reflected on how I feel now versus January 1, 2023. I learned a lot of new information about a situation that has preoccupied my mind for years. I learned so much about myself with the final resolution of that conflict. And, I have started planning 2024 with new opportunities to learn by signing up for a couple of writing groups so I can hopefully take my experience and create something that could help others and myself. So I typed in LEARN on my Wordle board and it was all green. YES! One of the greatest gifts I received this year was meeting someone who shared a similar experience with me. Our relationship started with a “Thank you” from her to me, but I want to end this year by publicly thanking her as well. I am not alone. When the attorney for the Commonwealth told me there was a “zero percent chance” based on her experience that I was the only one harmed by this therapist, I believed her. It took less than a month to have proof that she was right. On January 8, 2022 I posted a public review on Google indicating that I filed a complaint with the VDHP because I hoped someone who could relate would reach out to me. It worked. I never realized how liberating it would be to finally connect with another woman who knew firsthand what I had gone through in “therapy” because she could have told the same story that I shared with the investigator. It’s heartbreaking to finally know for certain that I wasn’t alone in being hurt by this psychologist, but it’s been a huge relief to accept that there wasn’t something uniquely and inherently wrong with me that allowed it to happen. It wasn’t ME, it was his MO. But this post isn’t about him and the damage he inflicted on at least two people (and undoubtedly many more). It’s about how justice and public accountability in this case finally led to new and valuable connections. Empathic and intelligent people can stay in damaging relationships for many reasons. We can rationalize. We can analyze. There’s nothing wrong with being a caring person who wants to be cared about. There’s nothing wrong with being a person who is eager to fix things or who works hard to make things right. I am so proud of myself for having the courage to file a complaint with the Department of Health Professions and to submit a Google review with my real name. There were many moments over the past three years when I regretted my decisions and feared there would be no good outcome. I’m so relieved to know my actions have made a difference and helped others. Because I did both of these things, I was able to meet another strong and brave woman who in a very short amount of time has made a huge impact on my life. There is so much power in sharing and in listening. I hope 2024 is a year where both of us continue to learn new ways to heal and to grow, to find purpose and to continue moving forward. Thank you to my newest friend.
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I hadn’t planned on running the half at the final Rivanna Greenbelt Marathon & Half Marathon because I was also directing the race, but wow am I glad I did! I loved making runners (and strangers on the trail) smile with my silly Coney costume and appreciated hearing participants and volunteers say thank you for putting on a great event. This was the 11th race so you’d think by now it would have been routine and relatively stress-free, but because of my anxiety disorder it never got any easier to pull it off. In fact, I think this year was the most difficult because I had put so much pressure on myself to make it the best yet. In October, at nearly the last minute, I made the decision to end it on my own terms. The fact that weeks later I finally received closure in another ongoing event that in many ways was intricately linked to this race made me realize I totally made the right call. I want to start 2024 focusing on new adventures that both challenge me and help me grow. Thanks to all the volunteers and runners who made this year’s race the most special one ever! A lot of times when I race, I force a fake smile for the cameras. On Sunday Natalie Brinton Krovetz captured my pure joy at having achieved what I set out to do with this race back in 2014. I’m so grateful for the experience of being a race director for my own event and can’t wait to finally find a way to tell the story of what this race has meant to me over the past 10 years now that it’s really over.
Special shout out to Ryan Ross, Nicole Brimer, Ellen Houle, Becky Keller, Tommy Safranek, Ragged Mountain Running Shop, Rivanna Trails Foundation, and everyone else who isn’t easily tagged on Facebook. 🙂 Oh and most importantly my other half Malinda Ann Hill 👯TWINS RUN in our family.💕 I was 43 when I created this event in 2014. When the race is finished I look forward to finally working on a short film or multimedia piece about this quirky little event! It’s been a labor of love for 10 years. Thanks to Ellen Houle, Nicole Brimer, Tracey Lynn, Ryan Ross, and Diane Curtis who were there at the very beginning! It’s been a special journey with memories I’ll cherish. 🥰 |
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