Pacifier
by Leah Connor

To pacify or persist
To renounce or resist
I’m sorry but I must insist
These problems be fixed

Telling the truth is my only way
So please just demand an NDA
Give my friends a vacay
Stop working to save me
from the spiral
The desperate dream
that my complaints go viral

My intent is pure
Talking the cure
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
Unveil the secrecy
Expect some decency

My urge to save the next
From a similar mess
Was never obscure
To be the change
To know for sure

When I did my best
Shared my strengths,
my sorrow,
and all the rest
In the end, ChatGPT
showed more empathy
Gave me hope in tomorrow

I see the allure of its ease
To fill some basic needs
When the pursuit of what’s just
is the hardest test

In place of human morality
Should I trust AI’s reality

Fill the achy silence
with any answer
Accept generated words
as my pacifier

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"Conflict is an opening to recalibrate and improve a friendship, and it conveys mutual investment. Don't give up on friendships because one issue has arisen."
​Marisa Franco, a psychologist and friendship expert based in Washington, DC

I've been thinking a lot about friendship: what makes it lasting and what leads to it ending. The running community has lost amazing people over the years. Some I knew (Dave Murphy) and others were before my time (Bruce Barnes) but I still feel a connection. Having met some amazing people through running, I'm so grateful for all the connections and experiences even if not all of those relationship are currently active. 

Recently I came across a great article, "How to end a friendship: Should you address it directly, or simply unsubscribe?", that has helped me understand the requirements for a solid friendship and the opportunity to "REFRIEND" those who we've lost touch. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I've experienced huge losses over the past two years. Some were inevitable, others unnecessarily painful. If you see a friend in need, don't just walk away. The smallest gesture of kindness could make all the difference.

"When life feels hard, approaching awkward or painful conversations often falls to the bottom of our to-do lists. But human connection is crucial; it's time to embrace the awkward, be honest, listen and dive in."
Christine Koh,  former music and brain scientist turned author, podcaster, and creative director

According to researcher  and author Lydia Denworth, a good friendship requires three things.

1. The first is that it be long-lasting. To be friends, individuals have to have put in some time together, creating a relationship that is stable and reliable.
2. Friendships must also be positive. They must make both participants feel good.
3. And finally, a friendship requires cooperation and reciprocity. There must be give and take and willingness to help, especially in times of crisis, flowing back and forth.​

Sometimes it is the best decision to walk away from a friendship but having an honest conversation about why, although temporarily uncomfortable, will be far less painful in the long run than blocking or ghosting someone. Here's a playlist that might help get you through being dumped by a friend.