Forward Is a Pace
Necessity is the mother of invention.
I banged out a lot of creative work for the running community that I'm very proud of over the past 14 excruciatingly difficult months because somehow I knew deep down that there was no path forward for me working with the CTC if all of the current board remained in place.
If anyone thinks I left because of my new job or that I wanted to pursue other projects that's not the truth.
I won't publicly name names or explain the absurdity of the situation except to say that I wanted to do the work and avoid the drama and although I was uncomfortably transparent about my vulnerable state and my own faults, at every opportunity I was triggered into anxiety, depression, and paranoia. It's no way to live.
So I choose optimism and life and I'm going to throw my creativity, passions, and drive into other things that will give me purpose and meaning.
Spoiler Alert Ladies: Menopause is no joke. Turning 50 is no joke.
I've not been my best self the past year, but I've tried my best to seek help. I've tried to always be there for anyone when they needed something from me.
When you reach out for a hand and it's not there you have to make the choice to accept the situation and carry on with the relationships that have weathered the storm.
Thank you to everyone who has made an effort to make me feel that I matter. That I'm valued and appreciated. I'll pay it forward! I promise.
For reminders that things can get better, sign up for The Depression Project's daily quotes.
P.S. Writing this post finally motivated me to update my resume. I never thought I'd see some of the changes I just had to make, but I'm so excited about my new position.
9/30/2021 12:33:04 pm
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