seeA couple weeks ago I spoke to a counselor about a recent experience I had and how it reminded me of another incident from my past in which I felt the need to take a stand, to speak up. She reflected that I seemed to be a person who was driven by JUSTICE. I never really thought about myself in that way until she said that, but it seems to fit. I’m always trying to learn, to grow, and to make things better for others. I feel the most unease when I see others struggling, especially if they don’t have the skills or the courage to speak about their experiences. It’s risky to be vulnerable and honest, but it’s too uncomfortable for me not to be authentic and transparent.
I found myself in a situation where I had a lot of conflicting emotions and difficulty processing what had happened. I reached out to many resources including the Women’s Initiative, an employee assistance program, and an Ombuds. Each conversation helped me in a different way, but the Ombuds really shifted my perspective the most because she was focused on finding a way for me to get resolution and closure, even if it was me setting a deadline to move on. I received an evaluation form about my experience and this is what I. wrote:
“I am so grateful I found this resource. My call was amazingly helpful. I felt heard. I felt cared about. It was so refreshing to finally have someone take the time to listen, to offer options for resolution, and to tell me to give myself a deadline to move on even if I can't get the outcome I might desire. I am really happy I reached out to this office and I am already feeling better because I was able to articulate the issue and also speak about what closure could look like. Just talking about options and what I might need or want helped me learn more about myself and grow from a very painful experience. Thank you so much.”
The Serenity Prayer and 16 Variations
by Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP
Grant me the honesty to say what will prove to have been helpful, the tact to not say what will prove to have been unhelpful and the wisdom to know the difference.
Grant me regret when there are lessons to learn that will prove helpful with future choices,
no regrets when there are no lessons to learn and the wisdom to know the difference.
Grant me the doubt that motivates a search for more wisdom when the path is unclear, the confidence to stop searching when the path is clear and the wisdom to know the difference.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change, Or Change The Things You Cannot Accept?
by Andrew McConnell
“Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?”
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”
- Angela Davis
1. Don’t be fooled: You can’t control everything.
2. But don’t be fooled: You can influence more than you think.
If you work at UVA and have an issue, I strongly recommend contacting the Ombuds.
Have a problem? Need help?
The University of Virginia Ombuds is a trusted resource and an advocate for fairness. The University Ombuds is an informal, impartial, independent, and confidential resource available to assist faculty, staff, and students in proactively addressing concerns early and before problems, complaints, and conflicts escalate.
Contact the Ombuds if you have a problem, concern, or issue and:
Schedule an appointment with the ombuds